Free Spirit: Growing Up on the Road and Off the Grid

Free Spirit: Growing Up on the Road and Off the Grid, by Joshua Safran

When I first chose this book, I thought Joshua Safran was one of the Safran Foer brothers. I'd read Everything Is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer, and later on read Moonwalking with Einstein by Joshua Foer. From what I can tell, there is no relation whatsoever, but "Safran" must be a relatively common Jewish name (as is "Joshua"). I'm so glad I found this book anyway!

Joshua Safran, an award-winning attorney who has committed his career to combatting domestic violence, tells the story of his childhood. This book was born when he represented a battered woman who had been serving life in prison for killing her batterer. This case resonated with him, as he realized he had a story to tell about his own experiences.

Safran's mom with her
feminist artist friends in San Francisco

Safran's mother ("Claudia") was a counterculture feminist artist/activist, and when he was four years old, they left Haight Ashbury in San Francisco and hit the road. He was raised in an extremely open, permissive home and "homeschooled." He heard his mother having sex with her lovers. He felt inadequate because he didn't have a vagina. They hitchhiked all around the west coast (mostly in Washington state), constantly seeking a true intentional community--utopia. Safran's village of parents were not necessarily related to him--he had a few positive role models along the way, but none of them were ideal. Many of his childhood experiences made me squirm with discomfort...being bullied after he puts himself in a regular school, being completely separated from his mother and nearly sliding down a mountainside or drowned at a hippie festival, or careening up a mountain with a drunk driver (his stepdad).

Safran as a child

But as much as his mother was proudly independent and strident in many ways, she ended up with loser after loser. (His father wasn't actively in the picture.) The last one--who she married--was physically abusive. Safran observed the abuse and felt humiliated for not supporting his mother and stopping her attacker. This book, more than any other I've read, describes well what it's like to be in a home full of domestic violence.

Joshua Safran constantly yearned for a "normal life," but wasn't able to find this until he'd graduated from college, married someone who also was raised in a hippie home, reconnected with Judaism, and creates his own family.


Now he's a practicing Orthodox Jew, husband and father, and attorney. He's written the story of his childhood with his mom's permission. It's a story of redemption and discovery in spite of a very difficult beginning.

This book brought me to tears at the end...especially this paragraph:

"People sometimes ask me: If you could do your childhood all over again, would you grow up in the cushy suburbs you always dreamed of? And I always give a complicated answer. As a father, I have done everything in my power to give my children the stable, secure, and comfortable childhood I never had. But I also recognize that while my early life was difficult, I received an unconventional and powerful education that taught me self-reliance, righteousness, and empathy like no other. In the end, I would rather slog back down those trails at my mother's side again. There are many ways to judge a mother, but I think the best way is to look at the man her son grew up to be." 

As a mother of three sons who sometimes doubts her own parenting strategies and patience (who doesn't?), this is reassuring and touching. And the way Safran has dedicated his work to helping women who are unable to help themselves is the most inspiring of all.

If you're interested in knowing more about Joshua Safran's story, take a look at this video presentation of him talking at Google:


I'm a hippie at heart, but this book shows the dark side of living off the grid and on the edge of mainstream culture...especially for children. Safran is already working on a sequel and his mother, Claudia Miriam Reed, is writing her own book. You can view her spoken word poetry about domestic violence here.

Midori by Moonlight: Japanese woman lands in San Francisco

Midori by Moonlight by Wendy Tokunaga

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I discovered this book thanks to Goodreads/Facebook friend and author Suzanne Kamata, who always has great book recommendations about Japan and Asia. Having lived in Japan for 3 years in the 1980s, I am always interested in books set there or about Japanese or Japanese-Americans.

I really enjoyed this story about a spunky, American- and baking-obsessed young Japanese woman (Midori) who becomes engaged to an American man, Kevin. Kevin reminded me of so many of the gaijin (foreign) men I met--who desperately seek Japanese women because they believe they will be more submissive and subservient than American women (probably true in many cases). And conversely, many Japanese women find foreign men to be more respectful and less domineering than traditional Japanese men. Midori was bound and determined to marry a foreigner.

However, things went wrong after she arrived in San Francisco. Kevin dumped her for his old girlfriend, and Midori had already said goodbye to her family in Japan.

She ends up making the best of a bad situation and piecing together a life for herself in San Francisco. I liked the setting in the City by the Bay, and Tokunaga's descriptions of Japanese young people who do not feel that they fit into traditional Japanese culture ring very true.

At times, it seemed that Midori's English was just a bit too perfect--after all those years of teaching English myself, I rarely found a student who could speak that well. However, her struggles with English idioms made me chuckle. Before I tried to teach English as a second language, it had never occurred to me how confusing and bizarre (not to mention, difficult to learn and remember) our idioms are. Many of my students were fascinated by our strange idioms.

Midori by Moonlight is a light, fun read, and probably most appreciated by people who have lived in or are interested in Japan. I will definitely read more of Tokunaga's books!View all my reviews >>

Tales of the City: San Francisco life

Tales of the City
by Armistead Maupin

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I read this in preparation for a recent trip to San Francisco, and I had not quite finished it when it was time to leave. Instead of taking a book I was 3/4 of the way finished with, I took another one instead. But my sense of order was disturbed...I simply had to finish Tales of the City before I could really sink my teeth into The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.


So on our first day in San Francisco, we were browsing in the City Lights book store in North Beach, and I found a copy there and sat down and finished it while my husband enjoyed his wandering.


Tales of the City, originally written as a serial, is a bunch of interwoven short stories about people who live in San Francisco, one of whom is a naive, overwhelmed, recent transplant from the midwest.


The majority of the characters are bisexual or gay/lesbian, and finding sexual partners is a major hobby for many of the characters. It's clear this first book was written well before the age of AIDS. Maupin has continued with the series, and a new book is expected to be published this November. I'll be curious to continue reading the series to see how Maupin deals with the changes in the San Francisco lifestyle over the decades. It gave me a great feel for the history and vibe of San Francisco in the 1970s.


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