Sex Object

Sex Object, by Jessica Valenti

This was a hard book to read. Valenti is a famous young feminist, and she founded the blog Feministing in 2004.

Much of this book, a series of essays, reads like a blog...it doesn't always fit together very well. But the essays are powerful, searing, deeply honest, and at times shocking.

First off, I had no idea of the amount of harassment girls and young women encounter on New York City subways and streets on a regular basis. No wonder she feels like she is under attack. And then there's the sheer vitriol and hatred Valenti has received for being a public online feminist. The last chapter contains a sampling of the hate mail she has received. This is typical for women who bare their souls and opinions in the public sphere, thanks to the anonymity of the Internet and misogyny in society.

Valenti's daughter was born prematurely, and she writes openly about her angst and terror associated with that and motherhood in general.

I wouldn't exactly say I enjoyed this book, but I'm glad I read it.

Giant of the Senate

Giant of the Senate, by Al Franken

In a year when I committed to read women or people of color, what a tragedy that this was one of the few books I read by white men. Only a tragedy now in retrospect, because I actually loved listening to this book.

Franken is funny, insightful, self-deprecating, and wise. One of my favorite anecdotes was the way he and his assistant would talk about hide-a-beds to throw off journalists in their wake.

He clearly loves his wife and family and is called to serve. He had an excellent working relationship with his colleague, Amy Klobuchar.

I enjoyed all the stories of how he ended up in the Senate and how he attempted to work with other senators with which he staunchly disagreed. This was an excellent book, and I believe it stands alone on its merit.

I was so disappointed to learn that Franken is just one more of the old boys who disrespected women and treated them as his plaything. Toxic masculinity can be a byproduct of men in power. This doesn't make Franken a bad person. He made some serious mistakes, and it breaks my heart because he was an excellent senator.

I would have given this five stars before the scandals hit. Now I'll downgrade it to a two, simply
based on my disappointment and his hypocrisy.

I Found You

I Found You, by Lisa Jewell

What a great read! I loved the way the mysteries unraveled. Three different stories, woven together masterfully. Colorful characters with complicated histories. A setting in Yorkshire and elsewhere in England. Couldn't put down.

This Time Together: Laughter and Reflection

This Time Together: Laughter and Reflection, by Carol Burnett

I recommend listening to this book, because it's read by Carol Burnett herself. I recommend this book for long-time fans of Burnett. I grew up watching her hilarious variety shows, so it was like curling up with a long-time friend.

I especially enjoyed the tales of her early days, breaking into show business. She had a patron--a wealthy woman who gave her money to go to New York City to get started. Her only rules were (1) that she would be anonymous, and (2) that Burnett would pay it forward to another young woman once she made it. And so she did.

Burnett was a feminist at an early age, fighting for equity and parity in the men's world of entertainment. One TV executive told her that comedy was a "man's game." She sure proved him wrong!

The Widows of Malabar Hill

The Widows of Malabar Hill, by Sujata Massey

I'm excited about this new series by one of my favorite authors! It's due out next week on January 9. I was lucky to get a sneak peek!

I first became a fan of Sujata Massey through her Rei Shimura detective novels about a Japanese-American antiques dealer turned detective. Sujata Massey, half Indian and half German, lived and worked in Japan around the same time that I did. Rei Shimura was spunky, independent, and curious about the world, and she's my all-time favorite detective.

Cornelia Sorabji

Now Sujata Massey has branched out into writing about India, and I love these books even more! In 2013 she published The Sleeping Dictionary, a historical novel about a poor Indian girl without a family, leaving her few options for survival. It was one of my favorite books in 2013.

Next up is The Widows of Malabar Hill, the first in her Perveen Mistry series. An Oxford-educated, multilingual Parsi woman in Bombay (now Mumbai) in 1921, Perveen is one of the first female lawyers in India, partially inspired by the real life of Cornelia Sorabji.

Perveen has modern parents who encourage her education and career, but they do still want her to get married. The novel covers the travails of her personal life as well as her professional work.

She helps her dad with a case of a rich Muslim mill owner who has died and left three widows behind. The women are in full purdah (exclusion from men), so Perveen is best suited to speak to them. She soon becomes concerned because their husband's agent plans to give away their inheritance and leave them with nothing. When she begins to investigate the situation, a murder occurs and things escalate.

I am excited about reading more of this series. Massey does an exquisite job exposing the reader to many facets of Indian culture and religion--in this case Islam and Parsis, who are descended from Persian Zoroastrians. I've actually read quite a lot about Parsis; it seems that, although their population is fairly small and rapidly diminishing in India, their culture is a popular and fascinating subject in fiction!

Check out Massey's excellent website to read the first chapter, peruse recipes from the book, see photos from real places in the book, and read her Q&A.

Excellent historical fiction + setting in Asia + a spunky heroine + mystery and adventure = the perfect combination for me!

Bring on the next one!

Version Control

Version Control, by Dexter Palmer

This book is an excellent example of why I value my book group! I'm a time travel and dystopian fiction fan, so I was intrigued to dive into this one...especially with such an intriguing premise.

It moved a bit slowly for my taste, and at times I thought he had too many details about science, religion, and the Causality Violation Device (the time traveling machine that is "not a time traveling machine"). Palmer's commentary and reflections on race, alcoholism, and our blind reliance on technology were spot-on. Some of the book was speculative fiction rather than pure sci-fi, because I could actually imagine many of the things happening.

But the characters were wholly unlikable (which is often a problem for me). My book group friends helped me uncover brilliant strategies and nuances of Palmer's as we discussed it, and I grew to appreciate it much more.

I'm not much of a sci-fi fan, though, so that probably turned me off a bit. I'd describe this as literary sci-fi. The book grew on me during our discussion, so much so that I was tempted to re-read it. But life's too short!

Prayers for the Stolen

Prayers for the Stolen, by Jennifer Clement

This was a beautiful, heartbreaking novel about Mexico, written by poet Jennifer Clement, who was the president of PEN Mexico.

"The best thing you can be in Mexico is an ugly girl."

Ladydi Garcia Martinez dresses as a boy, because in her mountain community near Guerrero, girls are constantly kidnapped and sold into prostitution to support the drug trade. The mothers dig holes for their daughters to hide in when the black SUVs come to their homes to search for new girls to snatch.

Every day in Mexico, adolescent girls and young women are abducted from their homes and either never heard from again or found dumped dead and abused. Some become sex slaves to drug lords, and others are sexually trafficked to brothels in Mexico and abroad. Sexual abuse in Mexico has exploded as the drug trade has soared.

Although difficult to read, this novel is a wonderful story about women and daughters who have to survive on their own wits, resiliency during a time of great trauma, and fierce love that is hard to comprehend in our white, American existence.

Americanah

Americanah, by Chimamanda Ngozi Adiche

Author Roxane Gay describes this book as a "beautiful mess," and I agree. I started and stopped it several times. It wasn't because it made me uncomfortable (as a white woman, I think it's important for me to feel uncomfortable). It's because I wasn't captivated by the book as a novel.

But I am glad I read it, in my year of "read mostly women and people of color." Giving a voice to Nigerian-American main character Ifemelu is so important...both for other Nigerians as well as for other white Americans like me.

Adiche writes brilliantly about race and racism, colonization, immigration, journeys, hair, assimilation, self-invention, corruption, and family. I just wish it held together better as a novel.

Holden Village--A Memoir: New Life, Endless Stories

Holden Village--A Memoir: New Life, Endless Stories, by Werner Janssen

I happened across this book a few weeks before I went to our beloved Holden Village this summer after 5 years away. It's written by one of the early villagers and one of its first operations managers, Werner Janssen. In all the rooms at Holden, a different, older memoir awaits: Surprising Gift, by Charles Lutz. Janssen's book holds more of an insider perspective.

Independently published and written by an engineer, it could have benefited from a really good edit. But I enjoyed reading the story of how the village got started and Janssen's personal insider perspective. He lived in the village longer than anyone else has, starting at age 24.

One thing I found troubling about this memoir is that according to Janssen, innovative visionary and long-time executive director Carroll Hinderlie (who my dad knew from PLU) was a sexual predator. He was well known for harassing women on staff and those who were visiting the village. Eventually, the board did something about it, suggesting that Hinderlie take a leave of absence and write a book (paid leave!). Apparently another executive director was guilty of what the board calls "sexual misconduct" as well.

The Holden Village board acknowledged this issue in 2013 with a statement of apology (sort of) and they also created a sexual harassment policy and rules for staff and villagers. But they never named the executive directors (like Janssen does in his book).

On the FAQ portion of the page, the board refuses to provide names, instead saying "Our interest is in promoting healing and not promoting more pain. We are not disclosing the names of those involved, but it was decades ago that this occurred."

I find this troubling. Why not name names? I can only imagine what it must feel like to be a victim of these assaults and know that these men's reputations are still being protected.

Greater healing would take place if their names were brought forward and if Carroll Hinderlie were not still held up as a great icon of Holden Village. Yes, he did amazing things for the village. But he preyed on women. That is unacceptable and needs to be acknowledged--by name.

I am glad that Janssen did this in his book.

Accidental Saints: Finding God in All the Wrong People

Accidental Saints: Finding God in All the Wrong People, by Nadia Bolz-Weber

I read this back in June, before going to Holden Village in July and getting to listen to Pr. Nadia several times that week. It was the second time I'd heard her speak, and I soaked up every opportunity to learn from her.

One of the fun memories of that week was listening to her read her completely raw draft of the book she's working on right now--about sex and the church. Simply put, she is a brilliant and colorful writer. She was all full of apologies that it had not yet gone through an editor, but it was a real privilege to hear her read from her first draft (which did NOT seem draft quality).

I enjoyed Accidental Saints as I always get a great deal out of Pr. Nadia's writing. She makes me see things in new ways.

But I am always a little stunned by how honest she is, and at times I think she's a bit too honest. For example, one story in Accidental Saints is about a man in her church who she just wasn't crazy about--he was hard to love. It was only after he died that she realized her mistake. In one of her talks at Holden Village, she spoke dismissively about someone who had applied to be the pastor at her church (she is unable to be a full-time pastor now that she's also an author and speaker). The Lutheran world is a small one, and I couldn't help but wonder how people related to these individuals would feel if they heard or read her words.

I am of the type who believes it's better to be kind than to always be brutally honest. Sometimes when I read memoirs or essays like this book (Anne Lamott is another author who comes to mind), I realize that I wouldn't want to be friends with the author. I don't think I could trust my authentic self with them. Pr. Nadia also has extremely strong opinions (for example, about church music), and I don't always agree with them. I imagine that some people in her church are more than a bit intimidated by her and might not feel comfortable speaking up.

With that said, Pr. Nadia is brilliant and fascinating. I love the way she pushes the envelope with her potty mouth and out-of-the-box thinking. This book is worth a read. 

And especially the last chapter--her modern Beatitudes--which brought me to tears. Here it is:

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are the agnostics. Blessed are they who doubt. Those who aren’t sure, who can still be surprised. Blessed are they who are spiritually impoverished and therefore not so certain about everything that they no longer take in new information. Blessed are those who have nothing to offer. Blessed are they for whom nothing seems to be working. Blessed are the preschoolers who cut in line at communion. Blessed are the poor in spirit. You are of heaven and Jesus blesses you.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.Blessed are they for whom death is not an abstraction. Blessed are they who have buried their loved ones, for whom tears are as real as an ocean. Blessed are they who have loved enough to know what loss feels like. Blessed are the mothers of the miscarried. Blessed are they who don’t have the luxury of taking things for granted any more. Blessed are they who can’t fall apart because they have to keep it together for everyone else. Blessed are the motherless, the alone, the ones from whom so much has been taken. Blessed are those who “still aren’t over it yet.” Blessed are they who laughed again when for so long they thought they never would. Blessed are those who mourn. You are of heaven and Jesus blesses you. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who no one else notices. The kids who sit alone at middle-school lunch tables. The laundry guys at the hospital. The sex-workers and the night shift street sweepers. Blessed are the losers and the babies and the parts of ourselves that are so small. The parts of ourselves that don’t want to make eye contact with a world that only loves the winners. Blessed are the forgotten. Blessed are the closeted. Blessed are the unemployed, the unimpressive, the underrepresented. Blessed are the teens who have to figure out ways to hide the new cuts on their arms. Blessed are the meek. You are of heaven and Jesus blesses you.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the wrongly accused, the ones who never catch a break, the ones for whom life is hard – for they are those with whom Jesus chose to surround himself. Blessed are those without documentation. Blessed are the ones without lobbyists. Blessed are foster kids and trophy kids and special ed kids and every other kid who just wants to feel safe and loved and never does. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness. Blessed are they who know there has to be more than this. Because they are right.

Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy. Blessed are those who make terrible business decisions for the sake of people. Blessed are the burnt-out social workers and the over worked teachers and the pro-bono case takers. Blessed are the kids who step between the bullies and the weak. Blessed are they who delete hateful, homophobic comments off their friend’s Facebook page. Blessed are the ones who have received such real grace that they are no longer in the position of ever deciding who the “deserving poor” are. Blessed is everyone who has ever forgiven me when I didn’t deserve it. Blessed are the merciful for they totally get it.