Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide

Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide, by Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn

My rating: 5 out of 5 stars

This is such an important and long-overdue book. I've always loved this quote:

Women hold up half the sky.

I've seen it attributed to Madame Mao, Chairman Mao, or as a Chinese proverb. No matter. It's a powerful quote, and it's the basis for this book by Pulitzer Prize winners and married authors Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn.

Kristof and WuDunn investigate the widespread abuse of women and girls via sex trafficking, prostitution, and slavery (across the globe); rape; "honor" killings; maternal mortality; and neglect of health issues. They also explore issues related to family planning and the "God Gulf," whether Islam is patently misogynistic, the importance of investing in education, and the benefit of microlending.

Stop--don't get depressed yet! Not only do they report on these widespread abuses and shocking inequality across the globe, but they also share success stories and the lives of women who have risen above these horrible situations. The power of this book is in the stories of those individual women. Stories always help to personalize tragedy and help us to understand it better on a personal level. Furthermore, they give tons of suggestions for what we--as a country and as individuals--can do to help.

The authors packed so much into this book that anything I write in a review seems grossly inadequate. Everyone must read this book. The future of our planet and the sake of humanity depend on all of us to stop the terrible abuse of women and girls across the globe. To begin that process, we must understand what is going on. This book is a step in the right direction.

Toward the end of the book, they discuss societies that have come a long way in changing the lives of women. Two such countries they cite are China and Bangladesh. This is not to say that the plight of women in those countries is easy, but only that they have made a great deal of progress over the years by gradually changing their culture and introducing more women into leadership. Imagine my horror when, after just having finished this book, I read Nicholas Kristof's blog post about a 14-year-old girl in Bangladesh who was raped by a relative and then executed for "her" crime. Kristof expresses hope that Bangladesh's "robust civil society" will send a strong message that misogyny is not only immoral but illegal. But as a commenter says, "Can any society be described as 'civil' when misogyny is this deeply ingrained in its social fabric?" Another commenter points out that blaming the victim is not unique to the developing world. 

Let's hope that the world will one day recognize that women do indeed hold up half the sky and will stop the oppression of half of our population.

Buzz: A Year of Paying Attention

Buzz: A Year of Paying Attention,
by Katherine Ellison

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Q: How many kids with attention deficit disorder does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Let's go ride bikes!

Katherine Ellison's son Buzz (a pseudonym) was diagnosed with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) not too long before she received the same diagnosis. Not only did Buzz have ADHD, but he had a side order of obsessive-defiance disorder (ODD) to make things even more complicated and stressful. Buzz constantly made waves...from beating up on his brother to demanding extremely expensive toys and constant caffeine. Rock bottom was the day Buzz called 911 after Ellison confiscated his Gameboy as a punishment for beating up on his brother.

Ellison embarks on a one-year journey to chronicle her parenting struggles with ADHD, exacerbated by her own personal challenges. It also happens to be the year when Buzz is preparing for his Bar Mitzvah. To demonstrate the up-and-down journey of ADHD, she offers her own experiences:

"(ADHD)...may even illuminate how I managed to win a Pulitzer Prize just three years after being sued for $11 million because of a careless reporting mistake, then realized my childhood dream of becoming a foreign correspondent, only to break my leg by running into a manhole in Managua while chasing Nicaragua's newly elected president--and did I mention that she was on crutches at the time?"

In an effort to bring some peace into their lives, she pursued every option she could find to treat Buzz's ADHD. After desperately fighting against the medication option, ultimately she and her husband succumbed and found it to be helpful. I had to laugh reading the scene where she berates a friend for putting his child on medication, only to eat her own words later when her own family decided to give it a try with Buzz (and herself). (Reminds me of all those sanctimonious people who think that they know what's best for you.) At least she called him to apologize after she realized what an ass she had been. The cry for help that led her to consider trying medication was her son grabbing a butcher knife and aiming it at his own throat. I feel immensely grateful not to have had to deal with this kind of behavior or stress in my own family.

Ellison explores the history and biology of ADHD and investigates a number of alternatives (or additions) to medication. She takes him to a variety of therapists and experts. She gets to know people in the Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD) support group (and notes its marriage with the drug companies) and meets some authors on the subject (including Blake Taylor, who wrote a book called ADHD & Me, and his mother, Nadine Taylor-Barnes).

She investigates alternative education options and spends a chapter specifically on education and why the public school system is rotten for kids with ADHD. One of the experts she meets believes in "evidence-based teaching," the importance of developing a "sense of excitement and relevance, stories and mystery...and a student's connection with his teacher." The brain has to be excited to be able to learn and retain information. How often do we find teachers above the elementary school age who are able to do this with kids? As much as I sometimes question Chris' 8th grade science teacher's unconventional methods, Chris is way more engaged in science than he has been in the past two years, when he had rotten teachers.

Ellison tries neurofeedback for both herself and Buzz and finds some benefit...but it's very expensive and time consuming. She attends a silent meditation retreat (easier said than done for someone with ADHD). Ellison includes a helpful list of "What Else Worked" in the Epilogue and covers items such as supplements, toxins, exercise, snake oil salespeople (who are everywhere waiting to lurk on worried parents), and education advocacy. The book also contains several pages of notes at the end.

But this is the best thing I took from this book, wisdom from Toni Morrison:

"The author Toni Morrison says that the best gift a mother can give her child is to light up when he enters the room. I think of all the times my mind was elsewhere, dim to him, and now focus on shining extra brightly."

Ellison also makes a genuine attempt to respond positively to her son as often as possible, which takes a concerted effort at times.

This is what I strive toward: lighting up when each of my children (and for that matter, all of my loved ones) enters the room. That's how my boys react when I come home from work--I just need to take a leaf out of their books.
If I retain one thing from this book, let this be it. It's so easy for me to get distracted or stressed out and take our children for granted--the ones that we desperately wanted and waited for. And I'm not talking just about the one with ADD! Before they received the dual diagnoses, Ellison was diagnosed with a benign brain tumor (a meningioma), followed by thyroid cancer. It seems that extremes follow her wherever she goes.

Book recommendation from hubby: Words in the Dust

Words in the Dust, by Trent Reedy

I haven't read this young adult novel yet--I'm waiting for our 14-year-old son to get through it first--but am looking forward to sinking my teeth into it.

It's about a girl in Afghanistan who has a cleft lip. My writer hubby loved it and reviews it here on his blog.

I do not recall ever reading a book about a heroine with a cleft lip, so I'm immediately intrigued by that. (I had a cleft lip and palate at birth.)

Stay tuned for my review!

The Waves: A series of soliliquoys

The Waves by Virginia Woolf
My rating: 2 out of 5 stars

I am not typically drawn to experimental novels. In the book group we belonged to before we had children, I remember reading John Fowles' The Magus and Vladimir Nobokov's Pale Fire and becoming frustrated with both of those books (for different reasons).

In my relatively new book group, we decided that each member would nominate three or four books and we would vote on one book for each member. The Waves was our book for March, and even though it was difficult to get through, we agreed that we would not have tried otherwise. That's the great thing about book groups--it gets you out of your comfort zone. I do not regret reading it, and it will be a book I will remember for a long time.

The Waves, Virginia Woolf's most experimental novel, is a series of soliloquoys spoken by a group of friends, individually. These people are supposedly friends, but they do not seem to have much of a connection to one another. Apparently these characters represent various personalities in Virginia Woolf's life...T.S. Eliot, E.M. Forester, Lytton Strachey, etc. It's been alternately described as following six characters from childhood to adulthood or taking place all within one day, or being several parts of one consciousness. In simple terms, it's difficult to ascertain exactly what's going on for much of the time. There is very little plot. And the characters talk about each other, but do very little interaction with each other.

The language is masterful, yes, but not in a way that draws me in enough to put up with the lack of plot or connection between the characters. I found myself scanning through so much of the book that I can't in good conscience give it more than two stars. I think if I had read it in college, and had been listening to a professor lecture on the novel's merits, I would have appreciated it more. However, at age 46, I found myself dreaming of what else I could be reading that would be more worthwhile.

It didn't help that halfway through the book, the Japanese earthquake and tsunami hit. I found myself wondering why I should care about the privileged, narcissistic perspectives of this book while people were suffering on the other side of the world.

Even though none of us loved The Waves, it made for an interesting discussion at book group. We found it interesting that although Virginia Woolf wrote some great feminist manifestos, her female characters in this book were the weakest. The males took over the book--perhaps a message in itself.

I find it fascinating that on amazon.com and goodreads.com, the vast majority of readers rate this book as five stars. (In Goodreads, 43% of readers give it 5 stars, and only 2% give it 1 star.) Many people comment that they've reread this book several times. That makes me feel completely inadequate. Maybe I've just become too old and particular to appreciate this type of book. Or maybe I would appreciate it more at another stage of my life. I found myself looking forward to moving onto a book that is more gripping.

Ten great literary villains

In the spirit of "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest," which we saw last Sunday, Portland Center Stage has posted "Ten Great Literary Villains We Love to Hate."

I'd definitely agree with Dolores Umbridge--she was the first one who came to my mind, and she does indeed resemble Nurse Ratched. I'd have to add Count Olaf from the Lemony Snicket series to that list as well...he's one of the most colorfully depicted and creative villains I've read about.

Here he is, played by Jim Carrey (who was the perfect choice for this role):

The Book of Fires

 The Book of Fires, by Jane Borodale

My rating: 3 out of 5 stars

In 1752, 17-year-old Agnes Trussel, an English country girl, finds herself pregnant after she is raped by a boy in her village. Ashamed and horrified by her predicament, she finds herself in a position to steal some gold coins from a dead neighbor and flees to London to prevent any shame from falling on her poor family.

On the way to London she meets a pretty young prostitute, Lettice Talbot, who offers Agnes to get her life started in London. Naive and ignorant, Agnes agrees to meet Lettice later on at her boarding house (nee brothel). However, alone in confusing and very dirty London, she gets lost. As night nears, she finds herself wandering the streets, desperate, freezing, and hungry.

She sees a sign advertising help wanted at a house and knocks on the door. The house belongs to Mr. J. Blacklock, who makes fireworks and is mourning his dead wife. Blacklock soon takes Agnes under his wing as his apprentice.

Many other characters feature in the book--the other servants in Blacklock's house and Cornelius Soul, who provides the gunpowder for the fireworks. Agnes fixes on Mr. Soul is the solution to her problems, but he is not as she thought he would be.

At times this book was a bit slow going (especially with all the detail about the fireworks making), but I enjoyed it. At the time, fireworks were not yet made in color, and it is the quest of color that fascinates Blacklock and Agnes both, drawing them closer together.

Blacklock is an enigma, a dark and brooding character. Some of the characters were not drawn as fully as they could have been. But the amount of research Borodale must have had to do is astounding. The list of references is impressive. She effectively captures the cadence of dialogue, food, setting, and habits of the British in the 18th century. What a lack of options an unmarried pregnant woman had in those days...and telling anyone that she was raped would have only worsened her lot. A very satisfying read!

African-American woman sues Kathryn Stockett, author of The Help

It seems like everyone is reading or has read The Help these days. I read it last year and although I enjoyed it, I could understand why African-Americans gave it mixed reviews. My assessment was: great idea, awkward follow-through and lack of awareness of white privilege.

My book group has selected this book for April, so I'm anxious to hear what others think about the book...one of the members is married to an African-American man, and another comes from the south.

So I was fascinated to discover that Ablene Cooper, nanny for author Kathryn Stockett's brother, has filed a lawsuit against Stockett. She is offended by the portrayal of domestic help in the book and believes that she is the inspiration for the main character, Aibileen Clark. Her employers (Kathryn Stockett's brother and wife) agree.

Besides the similarity of their names, Ablene has a gold tooth and lost her son, just like the fictional Aibileen. It's interesting to note that not only has the book sparked a feud between brother and sister, but Stockett's father seems to think his daughter is only out to make money.

According to the ABC News article, "he also noted that his author daughter, who has moved north to Atlanta, 'is also a New Yorker now.' Stockett, a retired developer and lawyer, said he did not know her phone number. 'Sure, I liked the book. It's fiction. They didn't give me the critics' copy until it was too late,' he said. 'I would have got some factual things changed. But I'm low down the totem pole.' He charged media with 'stirring up the pot' in the dispute between his son's maid and his daughter, adding that the ensuing publicity surrounding the feud would benefit his daughter financially. 'Kathryn will appreciate that she gets a cut,' he said."

Sort of sounds like Stockett's own words in The Help, "Another white lady trying to make a dollar off of colored people."

Have you read The Help? Do you think Stockett overstepped her white privilege?

Everything Is Going to Be Great: Too bad the book wasn't...

Everything Is Going to Be Great,
by Rachel Shukert

My rating: 2 of 5 stars

After graduating from college, Rachel Shukert gets an unpaid, unrewarding "job" as an actor in a play, and after a run in New York, the play is staged in Vienna, Austria, and Zurich, Switzerland. After that, she journeys to Amsterdam, where much of the action takes place.

Shukert, a Jewish girl from Omaha, Nebraska, drinks heavily, smokes some, sleeps around, and generally parties her way indiscriminately through Europe. Halfway through this book, I questioned myself: why am I still reading this book? Silly me. I kept thinking it was going to get better.

Perhaps part of the problem is that it was supposed to be funny, and I've realized that I am not easily amused. (Take, for example, my feelings about David Sedaris.) I guess I don't find drinking until you end up in the hospital with broken bones...or sleeping with a Viennese man old enough to be your father and whose ancestors' whereabouts during the war you question...to be amusing. 

Upon visiting the Anne Frank museum with her parents in tow, Schukert observes: "Say what you will about the horrors of the concentration camps, they might at least present some interesting networking opportunities. But to be trapped for years in five rooms with your family was a torment I could scarcely fathom." Interesting networking opportunities? I do not understand how Shukert, as a Jewish woman, can even joke about something like that.

I did learn some new information in the book: that of the Dutch tradition of Sinterklaas, which is akin to Santa Claus. What is most startling about this tradition is that Sinterklaas is accompanied by the character of "Zwarte Piet," a man in blackface who is Sinterklaas' "servant." Yes, blackface. See below. In recent years, this racist tradition has been debated in Holland and elsewhere, but it still continues. Many Dutch people insist that there's nothing wrong with this tradition. In fact, speaking of David Sedaris, he wrote about this oddity in Esquire.



Zwarte Pieten in Holland

Schukert has an ill-fated, pointless affair with an American, Pete (no relation to Zwarte Piet), who was living with his long-term girlfriend. Everyone around her--certainly the reader--could see that the relationship was worthless and he was an asshole. When Pete breaks up with her (repeatedly), she enters into a deep depression. That's when I knew I should have given up on this book long ago. I just didn't care, and I didn't really like this person. Maybe I would like her now, years later, assuming that she's grown up a little. Who knows?

She ultimately meets the man she ends up marrying in Amsterdam--he's a Jewish South African named Ben. About the only thing I could relate to in the book was at the end, when she wrote about how "showing up in Omaha while involved in a marriage-track relationship with a well-mannered, gainfully employed, age-appropriate coreligionist who is on paper virtually identical to whomever they would have arranged for you to marry a hundred years ago in the shtetl will...dispel any doubts your parents may still harbor about the viability of your future." She calls her grandmother to wish her happy birthday and after first throwing her off the trail by saying her new boyfriend is African (at which her grandma panics), then she informs her that her new boyfriend's name is Abramowitz...and her grandma screams.

I have a great relationship with my parents (especially compared to Scukert's, although I suspect some of what she was writing was purely for laughs), so it's not completely the same. But I do have to admit that it's gratifying to end up marrying someone whom your parents actually like and approve of!

Conclusion: not my cup of tea. I couldn't care about this woman or the way she was wasting her youth away. Lovers of David Sedaris, however, might find it amusing.

The Wedding Officer: Never judge a book by its cover

The Wedding Officer, by Anthony Capella

My rating: 4 out of 5 stars

When I received this book via Paperbackswap.com, I was a bit dismayed by the cover. Except for a brief foray into Danielle Steele when I was in college, I DON'T DO ROMANCE. And the book cover definitely looks like romance, "women's" type of fiction. Blech.

Naples and Mount Vesuvius, the setting for this novel

So I was happily surprised to enjoy this book very much. Young British army captain James Gould is stationed in Naples, Italy, assigned as the "wedding officer," to discourage marriages between British soldiers and Italian women. In dire straits, most women in Naples could only find one way to make a living: by selling their bodies. Therefore, how would it look for upright Brits to be marrying prostitutes? Not good. Naive Gould approaches his job at first in a very black-and-white way, but eventually he comes to realize that truth and beauty, and in fact justice, often lie in the gray areas.

Women with their children in wartime Naples, Italy

Gould falls in love with extraordinarily talented chef Livia Pertini, who grew up at the base of Mount Vesuvius. After her family falls into ruin, she ends up taking a position as the cook for the British officers. Capella is not the first author to portray the stirrings of young love among the appetizing aromas and flavors of exquisitely prepared (and described) food. Livia was a wonderful character: spunky, passionate, brave, and wise.

As with all great historical fiction, I learned a great deal about that era and setting during World War II. I knew about Pompeii and had heard about Mount Vesuvius, but I did not know that it erupted during the allied occupation of Italy. In fact, I knew very little about Italy during the war.

The 1944 eruption of Mount Vesuvius

Apparently scientists say it's overdue for another eruption, but this time millions of people will be killed. Naples is only 6 miles away from the volcano.

Toward the end of the book, I found myself wondering whether Capella was a happy-ending or tragic-ending sort of guy. The plot could have gone either way. I won't spoil the ending by answering that for you.

It Takes a Worried Man: Touching, poignant memoir of a man supporting his wife through Stage 4 breast cancer

It Takes a Worried Man, by Brendan Halpin

My rating: 4 out of 5 stars

This book review has been cursed. First, I spent about 1/2 hour writing this book review, and then when I hit "publish," the entire review was gone. Then when I rewrote it this evening I kept getting HTML form errors. If it were not such a good book, I would not have put so much effort into it, I can assure you. Of course, the earlier review was completely brilliant, but now I have run out of steam!

In this moving memoir of his wife Kirsten's battle with Stage 4 lung cancer, novelist Brendan Halpin offers a beautiful, loving, brutally honest tribute to his beloved wife, who died a year after the book was published.

Some people might find it ironic--or stupid--that I read this book so soon after my own minor (in comparison) breast cancer scare. I recently had my first mammogram, which resulted in a terrifying morning of further mammograms, ultrasound, and painful and traumatic breast biopsy...followed by days of waiting to get the all clear. So yes, I'm a little crazy to read this memoir so soon afterward...but it gave me perspective...and I am not scared off by sadness or death.

I've read Halpin's novel, Donorboy, and also follow his blog, so I was aware that his wife died after this book was published. The book sat on my bookshelves for a few years before I finally decided to pick it up.

I dog-eared several pages and made notes about my favorite bits (in the blog post I wrote earlier). Here are a few, but not all, of those notes:

• Brendan, Kirsten, and their preschool-age daughter experience amazing caring from the members of their family and church. As he discovers, "God has no hands but our hands (Saint Teresa of Avila). As we too experienced when our oldest child was born 4 months early and we received similar TLC, "It is very difficult under such circumstances to maintain the idea that God is not working in the world. When we are in our time of need, we are suddenly surrounded by love and we can't forget even for a day how many people care about us."
• This man clearly adores his family. "I know this sounds corny and probably unbelievable in light of everything I've just said, but it is absolutely true that the whole rest of the room just falls away because my whole life just walked in the door, and I hug and kiss them both."
• I admire Halpin's brutal honesty about his anger at the 50-year-old men in the cancer survivor spouse group...whose wives are ill with cancer...not knowing whether his own wife will make it to 50.
  
• Tragically, Halpin lost his own father when he was nine years old...and he realizes in the midst of this crisis that "I was always so afraid of ending up like my dad that I never bothered to worry about ending up like my mom."
• One day when Halpin met a woman whose sister-in-law had given birth to a stillborn baby and nearly died herself, the woman expressed her belief that all of the prayers had worked. Halpin notes "presumably the people who are praying for her now were also praying for her to have a healthy baby. So how can you say it works?" I remember people commenting that Chris did so well in the NICU after his horrific birth and first few months of life because of prayer--and our steadfast love and presence. Yes, of course our prayers were answered, but were our prayers or love any more powerful than those of parents whose babies had died? I think not. It doesn't compute. I don't believe in a God who values the prayers of one person or family over another.
• I could also relate to his frustration in having to deal with family drama (with his mom and in-laws) while he was facing his own family crisis. I remember that, too.
• Halpin experiences the powerful healing and understanding that comes when someone else--who has been through what you have gone through--can offer simple validation and support. A coworker expresses how when her girlfriend had cancer, all she wanted to do was work (because it helped him escape), validating how Halpin had been feeling...and he comments "I don't know whether Jesus was God, or God was Jesus, or whether either of them had uncontrollable boners when they were thirteen (though every human male I know did), but I do know that for me, today, God's face is the face of a gray-haired lesbian who tells me she understands me."

If you can handle books with sad endings (even though the book ends on an uncertain note), I strongly recommend this beautiful memoir. I'll forgive him for his hatred of James Taylor and the Indigo Girls and his love of B-grade horror movies.

Unclutter Your Life in One Week: Perhaps if you live in a tiny apartment...

Unclutter Your Life in One Week, by Erin Rooney Doland

It's hard to give this kind of book a rating: how can I compare it to the typical fiction and nonfiction books I read?

I like to read an inspiring organizational book occasionally, because it keeps me motivated. This did the trick, although I found the premise of uncluttering and organizing my life in one week to be distracting and downright ANNOYING! The author, who is the editor-in-chief of unclutterer.com (a Web site I like very much), even admits that it took her more than one week to unclutter her own life. And at the time, she was living in an apartment! So why does she say one week? One month would have been a tiny bit more realistic, but I like Regina Leeds' much more practical, measured approach by using a whole year for the organizing process. (Okay, no cracks about how my "One Year to an Organized Life" blog has stretched into its third year now--ha!)

Doland approaches the uncluttering process in a similar way to other organizers: room by room, with guidance on what to keep and what to get rid of. In Chapter 1, she provides a list of "Questions for Items Already in Your Home" and "Questions to Ask Before You Buy," which I've already found helpful in the past few days of uncluttering (or decluttering). She also provides lists of what to do in the spring and fall. Much of the guidance she provides is not new for me, but as I said, it's always good to read these types of books to get me off my butt!

Some of the tactics are not practical for my own family...for example, the laundry schedule she proposes:

Monday: Launder all the sheets from the beds
Tuesday: Launder children's clothing
Wednesday: Launder adults' clothing
Thursday: Launder towels
Friday: Launder children's clothing
Saturday: Launder adults' clothing
Sunday: Rest

If we had separate laundry hampers for every room, I can see how this approach would make sense. But we have a laundry chute (reduces clutter in theory!), so dividing up the clothing into various age groups and towels, sheets, would be a pain in the neck and not helpful in any way. And even with five people in my family, I don't particularly want to run the washing machine six days a week.

Here's one thing I discovered from this book: higher-thread count sheets are usually a waste of money. According to Consumer Reports, "Pick a sheet between 200 and 400 thread count. Paying more for higher thread count is wasting money." I found this out when I ordered some expensive, higher-thread count sheets from overstock.com (they were a good deal, but supposedly a great bargain). Not long after we got them, they started pilling....not what I expect from high-quality sheets!

Doland also gives lots of advice about organizing your workplace, your work style, and your approaches to communication. Here are some good ones about e-mail:

Cure your e-mail addiction: Check it only once or twice an hour--don't feel compelled to check it constantly. Most of the e-mails you get are not going to be urgent.

Kill the notifications: Turn off the notification that a new message has arrived, and check your e-mail at regularly scheduled times when you need to be focusing on another task.

Know that the fewer you send, the fewer you will receive. Find alternative ways to talk to your clients and coworkers to cut down on e-mail traffic.

Make it short and sweet. When you send short e-mails, you're more likely to get a short one in return. Doland said that Kevin Rose, founder of digger.com, is rumored to write "Sent from mobile phone" at the bottom of his e-mails, even ones he sends from his computer.

Keep it out of the news. Before you send any e-mail, ask yourself how you would feel if your message ended up on the front page of a national newspaper. (This is one of the tenets one of my company founders wrote about in the early days of our firm, and even though I do not always remember to follow it, it's a good one!) Who hasn't had the experience of someone else forwarding our e-mail unintentionally or without reading the whole content?

Another recommendation she makes is to blind copy a large group of people, to eliminate people's tendency to reply all (one of my major pet peeves at work!). The challenge I would have in implementing this is that people often want to know who else got the message, so they can figure out if they need to forward it or not. I also find saying "do not reply all" to work, although it's tiresome to have to say it!

Doland also offers some good suggestions on how to say no politely in the workplace:

• Treat the request with respect.
• Express appreciation that the person thought you would be qualified to fulfill the request
• Communicate alternatives, such as a different date or a different person to help
• Don't leave room for negotiation; state the facts and be firm

Moving back to the house (the book goes back and forth from home to workplace--not sure that format is ideal, really, but she's proposing that all this stuff gets done in 1 week, remember? I'm not sure how any real work is supposed to get done during that time...).

She also advises that people take a full inventory of everything in their house and store the data securely online. This should be a goal for us, as friends lost their home in a fire a little over a year ago...and they lost nearly everything.

Another thing I'm considering is purchasing a photo scanner so I can scan many of our photos (not to mention receipts and other paperwork). Then I wouldn't have to keep all of them in storage. I have boxes and albums of photos from the many years before the digital camera age.

Getting back to the week premise (the subtitle is "A 7-day Plan to Organize Your Home, Your Office, and Your Life!")...another unrealistic thing about this book is that it's patently clear the author does not have children. I would say that 80 percent of the clutter in my home comes from my children. Yes, clearly, I have not raised them well enough to clean up after themselves! But having kids just means more clutter. So does more people in the house. Isn't it fascinating that most of the authors of these organizing books do not have children at home? I'm now going to hunt for an organizational and decluttering book for families! I'm sure there has to be one out there. And I don't want one written by an OCD, organizational overachiever, but a practical, focused-on-parenting-and-not-just-a-clean-house parent.

In summary, this book had some helpful hints and some inspiration for continuing my efforts to simplify my life. But the one-week idea is purely ridiculous.

Nancy Pearl's rule of 50 for dropping a bad book

Famous Seattle librarian writes in the Globe and Mail about her "rule of 50":

"When you get to page 50 of a book, ask yourself whether you are really liking it. If not, put it down and seek out another one. Perhaps you'll pick it up again later, and perhaps not. She talks about how she had to overcome the guilt of letting the author down to be able to choose her own reading content."

As Marie's book garden readers will know, I have reached a stage in my life where I too will put down a book if I'm not enjoying it. Sometimes I give it beyond 50 pages, and sometimes I do continue because I want to see how it ends. Pearl says if "all you’re really interested in is who marries whom, or who the murderer is, then turn to the last page and find out. If it’s not on the last page, turn to the penultimate page, or the antepenultimate page, or however far back you have to go to discover what you want to know." I think I could be more disciplined about this practice, and after reading Pearl's wisdom, I will give that a try. (I realize that not all books have to be fine, upstanding literature, but even if they are light they should at least be enjoyable!)

Pearl goes on to say:

"As I wended my way toward 60, and beyond, I could no longer avoid the realization that, while the reading time remaining in my life was growing shorter, the world of books that I wanted to read was, if anything, growing larger. In a flash of, if I do say so myself, brilliance, I realized that my Rule of 50...needed an addendum. And here it is: When you are 51 years of age or older, subtract your age from 100, and the resulting number (which, of course, gets smaller every year) is the number of pages you should read before you can guiltlessly give up on a book. As the saying goes, 'Age has its privileges. And the ultimate privilege of age, of course, is that when you turn 100, you are authorized (by the Rule of 50) to judge a book by its cover.'"

Excellent advice from one of our best Northwest book experts!

The Dead Hand: Making me think of Mother Teresa in a new light

A Dead Hand: A Crime in Calcutta, by Paul Theroux

My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I first discovered Paul Theroux back in my early 20s when I was living in Japan and traveling through Asia. Theroux wrote about his adventures on the Trans-Siberian Railway across Asia and Russia in The Great Railway Bazaar, the fascinating book that launched the travel memoir industry. I also read Riding the Iron Rooster about Theroux's travels in China. Theroux is a keen observer of different cultures, traditions, and people. Back in those days, Mike read his novel Saint Jack, but I do not recall reading it. Theroux also wrote the book The Mosquito Coast, probably the most famous of his works because of the movie.

So I approached A Dead Hand with some experience of Theroux. His insightful observations and colorful descriptions of India were the best part of this book. It's the story of a travel journalist, Jerry, who is slumming in Calcutta...waiting for the next freebie hotel stay and experiencing writer's block (one reason for the novel's title). He receives a letter from a wealthy American woman, Mrs. Unger, who has adopted many of India's customs for her own. (She wears a sari and henna tattoos, practices tantric and sensual massage, and eats only Ayurvedic food.) A friend of her son had woken up in a hotel room one morning and discovers a dead body on the floor. He had panicked and run away. She professes admiration for Jerry's writing and because of this, asks him to investigate the situation, presumably to clear the boy's name.

He soon enters into an odd romantic relationship with her, whereby she summons him when he fits into her schedule and shares only tiny, strange tidbits of her life. Even though she claimed the investigation of the dead body was her primary purpose for contacting him, she soon seduces him into being her devotee. Jerry becomes completely besotted with her, and we have pages and pages ad nauseum where he writes about how pure and saintly she is. Blah.

Mrs. Unger (always called by this name) arrived in India to work with Mother Teresa at the Missionaries of Charity. She hates Mother Teresa and badmouths her to Jerry. (For this reason, many have called this book anti-Catholic.) (And now a little diversion about M. Teresa...)

What I was not aware of before reading this book was that Mother Teresa was a highly controversial figure. She collected millions of $ for her charity, but very little of the collected funds went to help the sick and poor. Nearly all of it was given to the Vatican. She did what she did for her beloved church. (And as many have written, those funds given for the specific purpose to help the poor and destitute have instead been used to defend pedophile priests.) Mother Teresa believed that to be poor is to be holy. She did not allow her sisters or other workers to spend money on improving their own lives or the lives of the poor and sick. Google searches for "myth of Mother Teresa will yield all sorts of disenchanted stories and experiences, such as this one
Mother Teresa was also heavily anti-abortion and anti-birth control and reproductive technologies. Much of what's on the internet is hardly objective or from respected authorities, but here's an article in the New Statesman about the squalid conditions in her homes. I certainly will think differently of her from now on.

It's ironic that Mrs. Unger criticizes Mother Teresa, because she turns out to be far worse than the tiny nun...as of course, the reader could see coming a mile away.

I was not very impressed with the plot of this book...it meandered all over the place, and some parts were more interesting than others. On the pages and pages where Jerry blathers on about what a saint Mrs. Unger is, or about how he's able to write again, I felt bored to the point of scanning. As apparently is typical for Theroux, he includes a scene with himself in the book. This is a bit weird, and if it were a better book, or if I could understand the point of the scene better, I would have accepted it more. I believe that Theroux meant this book as an indictment on white rich people dabbling in developing countries, swooping in to help the poor and destitute...while actually hurting them. He is missing the point, though, by ignoring all of the reputable and indeed-helpful white people working in the developing world, providing sustenance and support to millions of people.

Theroux needs to hit the road again and go back to writing nonfiction. Or maybe he's just past his prime.

Women on the Edge of a Nervous Breakthrough: Lured in by a recommendation

Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakthrough, by Ruth Pennebaker
My review: 1 of 5 stars

I picked up this book at the library (on the "new" shelf) and decided to read it, mostly based on the recommendation of Sarah Bird, a talented Texas writer. Ruth Pennebaker is another writer from Texas. According to the book jacket she is a commentator for an NPR facilitator and keeps a blog (which looks much better than her novel!).

Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakthrough is about a trio of generations living under the same roof. Joanie is mom to Caroline and daughter to Ivy, and they all want to tear each other to bits. Caroline is a sullen teenager, Ivy is an overly critical older woman, and Joanie is a sad, bitter divorcee. The life she was holding together by shreds comes crashing around her when her ex-husband announces that his new girlfriend is having a baby.

I found the writing and story to be overly simple, the characters one-dimensional, and the interactions between them grating. Perhaps this is meant to be written in such a way, and I just have no appreciation for it...sort of like Hemingway. (I can't stand Hemingway.)

Or maybe it's that I have a wonderful relationship with my own mother and can't imagine living my life in battle with those around me. I could not relate to the characters at all. Ivy, in particular, I found to be downright grating.

One thing I found completely implausible is that Joanie was out of the workforce for 20 years (and has minimal computer skills) and then she lands a plum job in the advertising industry. Never going to happen.

I read to page 100 or so, and then gave up. Life is too short to waste on mindless books that don't give us at least some amount of pleasure.

My only conclusion is that Sarah Bird must be biased in some way--perhaps she personally knows the author, or she was just being polite.

The Beekeeper's Apprentice: Spunky young woman pairs up with Sherlock Holmes

My rating: 4 out of 5 stars

I'd never heard of The Beekeeper's Apprentice (by Laurie R. King) before my friend Kristin recommended it as a book group selection. It's the first in a series of five, and I will definitely be reading more of the series.

Mary Russell is a girl of 15 when she is wandering about in Sussex Downs, her nose in a book. Right at the beginning, I knew I would like her--I do not know many other people who are crazy enough to read while they are walking. Like Mary Russell, I have had one accident while doing so...but I was not too terribly injured. I'm just more careful now!

Whilst she was wandering, she nearly tripped over Sherlock Holmes, who was bee peeping at the time. After an initially rough start together, the eccentric Holmes realizes what a bright spark she is and adopts her as his apprentice and erstwhile daughter/friend.

"Russell," as Holmes calls her, goes off to Oxford when she comes of age (she is an orphan and was living in the care of her unlikable aunt) and returns home to visit Holmes and his housekeeper, Mrs. Hudson. Russell has a brain similar to Sherlock Holmes; she is extremely observant and intuitive, in addition to being off-the-charts bright. She and Holmes get involved in some small cases, followed by a rescue of an American senator's daughter, who has been kidnapped. These all lead to the penultimate case, in which someone is trying to kill both Russell and Holmes. At last, they meet their match.

I have never actually read any Sherlock Holmes stories. The most I know about him comes from that clumsy Robert Downey film that came out a few years ago (I saw it while riding on an Amtrak train going up to Tacoma). From what I've deduced, the author paints a faithful picture of Holmes and Watson. She doesn't shirk from his drug habits, but they are minimized.

The story is told from the perspective of Mary Russell, and what a great young feminist role model she is! It's also rare to find a novel about the purely platonic friendship between a young woman and an older man. They had a marriage purely of minds.

Definitely recommended for mystery or historical fiction fans who like spunky young heroines.

It's a book!

A Facebook friend shared this cute little video about books vs. online technology:

Can't pass up this title: Cinderella Ate My Daughter

Best title ever.

I loved Peggy Orenstein's book Waiting for Daisy, so when I saw she'd written a book about the princess culture, I put it on hold at the library immediately. Daisy has grown up and has been eaten by Cinderella. Stay tuned for a review.

The 19th Wife: Perfect combination of historical fiction and a modern-day mystery

My rating: 4 out of 5 stars

I truly enjoyed this novel, which combined the tales of two people who fled polygamy. As a historical fiction fan, I especially liked reading those parts of the book.

Ann Eliza Young became the "19th wife" of Brigham Young when she was a 24-year-old divorcee and he was 67. Instead of #19, she was probably #52 (polygamists don't keep very specific records of their wives). She left Young and become an "apostate," fleeing Utah to lecture against polygamy in the late 19th century. I had never heard of her before I began to read this book. She also published an autobiography, The 19th Wife, and faced scorn and hatred from the LDS church. Ebershoff rewrites Young's story by including sections of The 19th Wife (which he has rewritten--the original was long, overly wordy, and extremely biased) and also featuring excerpts from people's diaries and other accounts. Although based in reality, this is historical FICTION at its best. (Many LDS members have taken issue with Ebershoff recounting of Ann Eliza's story as well as the way he presented Brigham Young's egotism and cruelty.) Judging from her own words and the recount of her estranged son, Ann Eliza was not a saint, but she was a victim.

Interspersed with Ann Eliza Young's story is a murder mystery set in modern-day Utah. Jordan Scott, who was thrown out of his fundamentalist LDS sect years before, tries to get to the bottom of a mystery: his mom has been accused of murdering his dad. Jordan also happens to be gay. He leaves his home in California to return to Utah, where he hopes to get to the truth. Jordan has been deeply damaged by his childhood in a polygamist family and community.

I believe that modern-day Mormons are presented in an objective light in this book, even though many reviewers disagree with this. Young BYU history scholar Kelly Dee, whose ancestor is Ann Eliza Young, is attempting to research Ann Eliza's story. She volunteers at the Ann Eliza Young House, a refuge for children trying to escape from polygamist communities. Maureen works for Jordan's mother's lawyer, and she goes out of her way to help Jordan. Jordan and his new boyfriend, Tom, visit a church in Las Vegas that reaches out to gay Mormons.

Reading this book, I was struck by the strange juxtaposition of polygamy with the uptight views about sexuality in the LDS church. Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, and other prominent LDS pioneers used polygamy to justify their lust and lasciviousness in the name of their faith. They were sexual predators of very young girls who were too young to get married. When they were questioned about polygamy or when women tried to challenge this practice, they were told that their faith was weak. As we all know, polygamy continues today in fundamentalist LDS sects. What was most interesting about this book was the overlaps between early Mormonism and fundamentalist Mormonism today.

At the same time, Mormons wear sacred underwear and Brigham Young taught that a woman must never reveal her sacred underwear to a man, even her husband. I believe this has changed since Brigham Young's time, but the foundations remain (pardon the pun!). I had a former Mormon coworker who told me that he has never seen his wife naked. Seriously. They had three children and had been married all their adult lives. Another oddity is that until 2005, a secret temple ceremony involved naked touching (annointing of the body) (if this ex-Mormon Web site is to be believed).

The weakest part of the book was the modern-day Jordan story. Some of it I enjoyed, but some of it could have been tightened up. Some of the characterization I found to be a bit stereotypical (the gay young man with the dog...and his friend back home who calls him honey), and other times I felt it just brushed the surface on the many modern-day characters. One thing Ebershoff clearly wanted to emphasize is the collateral damage that polygamy does to its children.

As I was reading this book around the time when we watched "Elizabeth" and I found myself frustrated with its many historical inaccuracies, I've concluded that I like intepretations of history...the filling in the blanks, so to speak...instead of rewriting history. I might be able to handle rewriting history if I know that's what it is. Ebershoff makes it very clear that he is filling in the blanks and his novel is based on history, but it's not historical fact...a point that many of his LDS critics seem to disregard.

Ebershoff ends his book with an explanation of what was true and what was imagined, in addition to his thoughts on history. He believes it is subjective and invites interpretation. You can read his interesting thoughts on history and fiction on his Web site, which also has more information on Ann Eliza Young (including a PDF of her original memoir) and some resources about polygamy, the LDS church, and gay Mormons.

The Lightning Thief: Riordan's no JK Rowling...

My rating: 3 out of 5 stars

We have an inside joke in my family. When my husband and I sang the Ave Maria at his sister's wedding, one of his mother's friends pronounced (in a broad British accent), "It was nice, Michael, but you're no Pavarotti!" Rick Riordan has written a good novel, but he's no JK Rowling.

I read this book with my 7-year-old son, who loved it. He's now got a Greek mythology obsession and for a time (before getting turned onto Star Wars--my head is spinning!), he wanted to be Zeus for Halloween.

This book has so many things in common with Harry Potter and other fantasy novels that it's hard not to compare them--some have even called it the American Harry Potter. It's written in a much more simplistic way, probably more to appeal to kids than adults and children (like Rowling seemed to target).

I love the fact that Riordan's hero has ADHD and dyslexia, and that his friends all seemed to face their own challenges. Taking Greek mythology and weaving it into a modern-day story is a genius idea.

My biggest beef with the book was in the beginning, when Percy's mom dies (or disintegrates). Either Riordan has never had to grieve the death of someone he loved, or he just simply didn't know how to handle the issue in a middle-grades book. Percy hardly grieved her death AT ALL. By the end of the day, he was actually blase about it. As a mom of boys, this offended me!

Even with that weakness and its inability to compel me the way the Harry Potter series does, it was a fun read and I look forward to reading the rest of the series.

Up in the Air: Seriously lacking George Clooney

My rating: 2 out of 5 stars

I saw the film "Up in the Air" and enjoyed it (although I was not crazy about the ending), so when I saw this book in the library, I thought I'd give it a try. I gave up about 100 pages into the book, because I could not care about the characters and found the lack of plot frustrating.

Kirn is a master of details--most of this book consisted of observations about life in the air as a businessman. While the movie skewered the modern business world (as we follow Clooney's character Ryan as he travels around giving people the axe), the book focused on the travel aspects and the idea of a life lived in airports and navigating between various American cities. It's supposed to be a great satire, but I found the movie to be more interesting and certainly entertaining (after all, it's got George Clooney!).

So if you like to read extensive detail about air travel, airports, hotels, and transportation from one city to another, check it out. If you're looking for a plot, pick something else...or try the movie.